she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize