He told me they were just razor bumps!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize