Can Purell be used as lube?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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