On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
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Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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