there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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