At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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