My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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