I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize