No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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