She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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