Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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