worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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