where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize