Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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