Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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