Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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