I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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