did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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