i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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