Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning

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  (202): the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning http://tfl.nu/vrio
  Replies (6) Good night (604) Bad night (1870) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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  (215): So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her. http://tfl.nu/lt69
  Replies (23) Good night (868) Bad night (3961)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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  (954): youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party http://tfl.nu/dv0f
  Replies (7) Good night (2780) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.

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  (407): I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum. http://tfl.nu/t1ss
  Replies (27) Good night (635) Bad night (4969) Order T-Shirt
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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  (551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva http://tfl.nu/0m5z
  Replies (84) Good night (5280) Bad night (1524) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome

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  (937): bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome http://tfl.nu/t5r7
  Replies (62) Good night (7583) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now

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  (262): Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now http://tfl.nu/184c
  Replies (45) Good night (1279) Bad night (7804) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.

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  (518): he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name. http://tfl.nu/imhe
  Replies (63) Good night (6607) Bad night (2031) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

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  (850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji
  Replies (18) Good night (8216) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.

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  (573): I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him. http://tfl.nu/m4j0
  Replies (3) Good night (1814) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.

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  (412): Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day. http://tfl.nu/ky2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1757) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

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  (781): I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path. http://tfl.nu/8tge
  Replies (6) Good night (2112) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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  (828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (1474) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.

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  (802): Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester. http://tfl.nu/l7en
  Replies (1) Good night (1433) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

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  (210): I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti... http://tfl.nu/mzxu
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (1470) Order T-Shirt

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