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The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
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