cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize