hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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