I bet he comes in French.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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