I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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