a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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