I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
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I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize