i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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