I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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