I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize