i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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