dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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