I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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