My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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