is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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