Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize