I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize