I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize