In the future we'll all be gay
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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