I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
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I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
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So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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