You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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