i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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