I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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