I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
tell me about the eggs
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