I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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