it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize