Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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