I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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