I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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