Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize